Phyllis Marion Honeycutt

Funeral service for Phyllis Marion Honeycutt will be 10 a.m., Wed., Nov. 9, at the Claremore Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints. A graveside service will be held 2 p.m., Wed., at Ft. Gibson National Cemetery under the direction of Musgrove-Merriott-Smith Funeral Service & Crematory. Visitation will be held at the funeral home Tues. 1-8 p.m., and family will greet friends 6 - 8 p.m.

Phyllis Marion Honeycutt, 79, loving wife, mother, grandmother and great-grandmother, passed from this life on November 3, 2011, and, with God’s good grace, is now with her two dearly departed sons at the loving bosom of their Savior Jesus Christ.

The daughter of James William and Helen Bovee (Dodds) Remick was born Dec. 8, 1931, in Price, UT. On April 1, 1950, Phyllis married Junior Herman "J.H." Honeycutt in Rainier, OR. Beyond her 30 years service to this country as the stalwart wife of a professional soldier, and caring mother, Phyllis was a woman of many accomplishments and great deeds, but the most significant was as an extraordinary professional nurse for over forty years. Her skill, care, and benefit to many hundreds of patients was unsurpassed and will be long remembered. For thirteen years, Phyllis led a highly-skilled team of other professional nurses at her own healthcare agency in Tulsa, Oklahoma with great success until her retirement in 2000.

Phyllis is preceded in death by her sons: Willis G. Honeycutt, and James H. Honeycutt; parents: James W. Remick and Helen Bovee Remick; sister, Peggy Jean Remick; and brothers: James W. Remick, Jr., Victor Remick, and Frank C. Remick.

Phyllis is survived by her husband, J.H. of the home; sons: Daniel L. Honeycutt, David J. Honeycutt, and Billy Howard Honeycutt; daughter, Karen Phyllis Honeycutt Taylor; siblings: Bernice Mae Honeycutt, Irene S. Paul, Hazel Cutler, Guy R. Remick, Howard L. Remick, Sally J. Melton, Robert G. Remick, Majorie J. Remick, and Douglas C. Remick; 12 grandchildren, and 12 great-grandchildren.

Phyllis was a woman who was as equally strong, honorable, and tough as she was kind, gentle, and caring. She cannot and will never be replaced nor surpassed in the hearts and minds of those who knew and loved her. She will be sorely missed until the days that we all see her smile again.
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Mother

A mother is a blessing –
So gentle, kind, and wise,
She’s the first to give encouragement,
The last to criticize –
The one you know will be there
Whenever skies are gray,
The first to lend a helping hand,
The last to turn away –
Each special thing about her
Is so lovely to recall –
A mother is a blessing,
The most precious one of all.
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Mother’s Place

As I remember years gone by,
I recall a certain phrase,
For very often, Mom would say,
“Well, that’s a mother’s place.”

It was her place to heal a hurt,
With the gentlest tender kiss,
To remind us of forgotten chores,
When we had been remiss.

It was her place to cook our meals,
And make us go to school,
To make us mind our manners,
And learn the golden rule.

It was her place, our Daddy said,
To brighten up his world,
And so she did but still had time,
For all her boys and girls.

Now there’s a corner of my heart,
The biggest, warmest, space,
And none shall ever claim that part,
For that is mother’s place.

By Sue Dean Corning
Copyright 1983
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Phyllis Marion Honeycutt
A Life Lived for Others
Presented: November 9, 2011

In his book, Turn My Mourning Into Dancing, Henri Nouwen wrote, “In death we take a jump, we let loose, surrender, give up the safe place we know as comfortable . . . Faith asks us to jump, to surrender and believe that somewhere, somehow, Someone will catch us and bring us home. Because of such convictions, we can face dying with more than dread or avoidance. We can learn to live well all the more because we do not insist on ignoring what we cannot predict. Learning how to die has something to do with living each day in full awareness that we are children of God, whose love is stronger than death.”

As a nurse, Mom knew full well the prognosis of the cancer that was attacking her body but she could not know the strength that God would give her to live with it. As a wife, mother and grandmother, Mom knew that she wanted more time to care for those she loved – her husband, her children, her grandchildren, her siblings and relatives, and her friends – but she could not know that God would give her 21 more years to care for them. As a believer, Mom knew that she loved God but she could not know how much more her love for Him would grow as He gave her – her very breath. Mom took what she knew by intuition, training and experience and what she believed by faith and she jumped – trusting God to catch her. Mom learned first hand that His love is stronger than death. Mom chose to trust God for the strength that she would need for every new day and to live each new day for those she loved.

Living for others whether it is for God, loved ones, or a neighbor requires that people die to themselves and by faith remain dead to themselves so that God can work through them. The Apostle Paul in his letter to the Galatians wrote, “I have been crucified with Christ and I no longer live, but Christ lives in me. The life I live in the body I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave himself for me.” (Galatians 2:20) You know that a person is dead to herself when every painfully forced statement – whether short or long – is about someone else and how he or she is doing. You know that a person has faith when every breath she takes is preceded by, “Lord, please help me.” You know a person has been loved by God when she places her weakened hand on yours and tells you, “Its alright, I love you.” You know that you are on holy ground after witnessing a person thank God for His mercy in allowing her to come home from the hospital so that she could be with her family. Mom to the very end was focused on others.

Since you knew my mother you know she endured a difficult journey in her battle with cancer. Mom was not alone in this battle – many of you were shoulder to shoulder with her – but most importantly God was there. She invited Him into her suffering. It has been said, “By inviting God into our difficulties we ground life – even its sad moments – in joy and hope. And we learn the way to deeper love for others.” Mom experienced God’s love and comfort and was able to share it with others.

The Bible tells us, “Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of compassion and the God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our troubles, so that we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves have received from God.” (2 Corinthians 1:3-4) Because Mom had experienced God’s comfort she was able to love and care for us better than she would have been able to before. Even now you may be remembering a time when you were loved, comforted, or cared for by Mom in a way that ministered to you. It is right to praise God for her demonstration of love because that love was from Him.

It is also right to look at the qualities of God’s love that Mom demonstrated so that we can demonstrate His love to others in our lives. The Apostle Paul gave the Corinthian believers directions on how to evaluate their love. He wrote, “If I speak in the tongue of men and of angels, but have not love, I am only a resounding gong or a clanging cymbal. If I have the gift of prophecy and can fathom all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have faith that can move mountains, but have not love, I am nothing. If I give all I possess to the poor and surrender my body to the flames, but have not love, I gain nothing. Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails.” (1 Corinthians 13:1-8)

Mom demonstrated many of the qualities of love that Paul gave but the last two sentences of that passage remind me of what I saw in her. “It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails.” Perseveres can be translated: remains steadfast even in the face of unpleasant circumstances. All of us need someone in our life that will stick with us no matter what we are going through. Mom would jokingly say, “I would go through Hell with gasoline drawers on for you kids!” The reality is she would and did. Maybe Mom persevered in her love for you and it changed your life if so please do the same for some one else.

Perseverance is also used in the context of finishing and particularly finishing a difficult race. Mom would have been 80 years old on December 8th and that is a race in itself. The course for Mom was altered several times during her live. When the military sent Dad into harms way, when her oldest son Gene died in a drowning accident, when her brother Jim was killed in vehicle accident, when my father was wounded in Vietnam, when her second oldest son Jim was killed in a vehicle accident – all these had an effect on how Mom faced life. When Mom was diagnosed with cancer the entire family was impacted – things had always happened to others and Mom helped us get through them. Now our “rock” was shaken and we were, too. You wouldn’t know that from talking to her – the standard response from Mom was, “I am fine.” We took comfort in the fact that she was a fighter and had faith even when we did not. Mom was determined to finish the race mostly for Dad – she was his best friend and best caregiver. The Bible tells us, “ . . . let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us. Let us fix our eyes on Jesus the author and perfecter of our faith, who for the joy set before him endured the cross, scorning its shame, and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God. Consider Him who endured such opposition from sinful men, so that you will not grow weary and lose heart.” (Hebrews 12: 1b-3)

Mom had times when she was weary of dealing with cancer but we mostly saw it in her eyes because we didn’t hear it from her mouth. She relied on God for the strength to carry on and He gave it to her. The prophet Isaiah spoke of this type of reliance on God when he wrote, “He gives strength to the weary and increases the power of the weak. Even youths grow tired and weary, and young men stumble and fall; but those who hope in the Lord will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not faint.” (Isaiah 40: 28b-31)

No one wants to face death or tragedy but those that trust in God will receive strength to help them finish their race well. The Apostle Paul faced hardships and persecution and still was able to say, “I have fought the good fight, I have finished the race, I have kept the faith. Now there is in store for me the crown of righteousness, which the Lord, the righteous Judge, will award to me on that day – and not only to me, but also to all who longed for His appearing.” (2 Timothy 4: 7-8)

Mom was one of those who longed for His appearing and hoped for a brighter future one day with Him. We miss her and it is appropriate that we mourn our loss because Mom meant so much to us. It is important though for us to remember the truth God has given us to help us when someone that loves God dies. Paul told us, “Brothers, we do not want you to be ignorant about those who fall asleep, or to grieve like the rest of men, who have no hope. We believe that Jesus died and rose again and so we believe that God will bring with Jesus those who have fallen asleep in him. According to the Lord’s own word, we tell you that we who are still alive, who are left till the coming of the Lord, will certainly not precede those who have fallen asleep. For the Lord himself will come down from heaven, with a loud command, with the voice of the archangel and with the trumpet call of God, and the dead in Christ will rise first. After that, we who are still alive and are left will be caught up together with them in the clouds to meet the Lord in the air. And so we will be with the Lord forever. Therefore encourage each other with these words.” (1Thessalonians 4:13-18)

Phyllis Marion Honeycutt lived her life for others and demonstrated love for others because she had experienced God’s love. Today we honor her life and thank God for her. We praise Him for using her in our lives and for allowing us to know and love her, too. We recognize the cost to her and the benefit to us of her struggle to live for others and we are humbled by it. Her example to us of love, strength, tenacity, and grace in the midst of suffering points us to Jesus and challenges us to live for others.

I would like to close by reading a prayer that the Apostle Paul prayed for the Ephesians believers:

“For this reason I kneel before the Father, from whom his whole family in heaven and on earth derives its name. I pray that out of his glorious riches He may strengthen you with power through his Spirit in your inner being, so that Christ may dwell in your hearts through faith. And I pray that you, being rooted and established in love, may have power, together with all the saints, to grasp how wide and long and high and deep is the love of Christ, and to know this love that surpasses knowledge – that you may be filled to the measure of the fullness of God. Now to Him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to his power that is at work within us, to him be glory in the church and in Christ Jesus throughout all generations, for ever and ever! Amen.
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What Mom Took

Most often when we think of Mom
We thin of what she’s given:
The softness of a loving touch,
A gentle guide for living;
A nightly tip-toe in a room,
An understanding look;
But, sometimes when I think of Mom
I think of what se took.
She took a child and taught it how
To live this life with pride
She took those kindergarten tears,
And kept them all inside.
She took the hands that longed to hold
Her child and not let go
Used them to push her child along
The way, to thrive and grow.
Took time to do some other things
Like sew, and clean and cook,
And never thought to ask for thanks
For all the things she took.
Thanks, Mom.